Five days ago. It’s been five days since Aylin had her miscarriage, and it was very difficult. I was always there at her flat, trying to make her move, to make her smile, but she was like a ghost. Losing a baby twice was maybe the most horrible thing which could happen to her, which could happen to us. The first time, it was not my baby but I had taken care of her and her pregnancy as if this baby was mine. And this time, it was our baby and it hurt the same. But we had to move on, we had to try to forget and live, because we did not have the choice. I thought I will turn crazy If I stayed one day more without getting out of Aylin’s flat so I decided to go to the library buy some books I had to read for the university. It was my last year there and I did not what I will do last year. Becoming a literature teacher was a pleasant idea, but I was not sure I had the capacity to support the students. Anyways, read was maybe the thing I loved the most, mainly when I was on a bad mood like right now. The library was not very far of my apartment so I did not take my car, I walked to think even if it was maybe not a very good idea. I wondered what Aylin was doing, she was sleeping when I left the flat and I wrote a little word on a post-it just next to her in the bed : “I’m going to the library, I’ll come back quickly, love you”. I knew I should not leave her alone too long, but I really needed to breath. All this sadness, this pain…it was too much difficult. When I entered to the library, it was something like 5:00pm. There was not a lot of people in there, and it was very quiet. I wished I could hear some noise, the apartment was very quiet too since Aylin was coming back in there. I was not upset with her, I understood she was sad. She lost a baby. We lost a baby. But she should tried much harder to move on : I had to help her to move on. I looked at my shit of paper where I wrote my list of book I had to buy. The first was “As you like it”, by Shakespeare. I went on the section of theatre, searching for the book I came to buy.

On saturday, Peter used to loaf around his flat. Deeply high, frequently tired, he didn't quite like to go out, except when he had to, for the health of his social life. Last evening he spent many hours on his laptop talking, laughing, having a sweet time with his sister thanks to Skipe. After that, he watched a couple of movies, smoking hard. Consequently, he had a terrible waking. His headache made him suffer a lot during the first two hours of this new day. His long and dark coffee, his morning spliff, morning breath of crack, his shower cured him a little bit. Gloomy, Pete went to work for six hours at 8:30am, and went back about 3:00pm.
Now he could bum around, he started to smoke a lot of weed. He finished his crack pellet. While necrosing his poor lungs, he read. He could do nothing else. He had lost his phone somewhere in his mess. He did not require his computer. Just a book, a bit of music, wrapped in a warm duvet on his comfy sofa, with a coffee or something, smoking calmly. That was it, the best way to have a good and restful weekend.
About twenty to five, Peter finished his book. Not at all replete in his steady literary hunger, he had to read another one. He remained the french one which Zoey talked about, which she thought I will find great. Something with the word "little" in it. He cannot remember, but he went out all the same. He had to meander for a while aiming to find this library Zoey told him to go, because the people in it was great and the books too. He found it around 5pm, finished his fag before entering into it. He took a shy walk to look around, although he loved the atmosphere of libraries. He didn't see anyone but this guy with curled hair who looked like a poet or something. Peter went to him slowly, hesitating, thinking this dark haired head must be a salesclerk.

“aem ... hello, could you please help me to find a book ?”